


Achilles Heals

by littlelamblittlelamb



Series: Sky High AU [1]
Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Explicit Language, Humor, I don't know why they speak like the fucking Wolf of Wallstreet, M/M, Sky High AU, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamblittlelamb/pseuds/littlelamblittlelamb
Summary: When Sky High's golden boy Achilles Pelides learns late one night that he's not just super strong and super fast, but also super fucking able to fly, there's a long list of people to tell - the first of which has got to be a healer.When Tactile Healer (don't ask) Patroclus hears a knock at his window, he knows he's in for a long night.--The Sky High AU you didn't know you needed.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus, Achilles/Patroclus (Song of Achilles), Achilles/Patroclus of Opus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)
Series: Sky High AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720417
Comments: 27
Kudos: 227





	Achilles Heals

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how this happened. I have no idea why this happened. I have no idea why it's set in 2005's Sky High, but there are dormitories, and they all speak like they're from Shameless or the Wolf of Wallstreet. Here it is, world.

It had to be about two in the morning when Patroclus, asleep in his dorm, was roused by an insisted knocking on his window. Through the haze of half sleep, Patroclus found he was almost able to pretend the sound was an animal, or tree branches caressing the glass panes – but Sky High was a floating disc in the stratosphere (not a lot of animals) and Patroclus’s view onto the school grounds was unimpeded by any foliage. Someone _was_ at the window.

“Patroclus,” the voice came. “Please, please let me in. Fuck. Please.”

It sounded like… Patroclus sat up abruptly. It sounded like Achilles Pelides – _the_ Achilles Pelides. At his window. Shit. Patroclus stood up and unlatched the window, allowing the night air to chill his bare room. Through the dark, Patroclus made out blonde hair and shiny teeth and smooth muscle – unmistakably Mr Save-the-World himself. He also saw blood, and the way Achilles cradled his left arm and ribs. He ushered him in.

“Jesus,” Patroclus muttered. There was a spare bed in Patroclus’s room, and Achilles made for it, but Patroclus guided him over to the mess of blankets he had emerged from. “I don’t wanna have to make two beds,” Patroclus mumbled.

Achilles grunted and settled on Patroclus’s single bed, head bowed in concentration. “You’re a healer,” he said to the floor. He cast a quick glance up. “Says so on your file.”

“You’ve read my file?” Patroclus asked, taking a step back and folding his arms.

Achilles winced. “Not… not all of it.” But Patroclus could see the misstep. Achilles Pelides knew enough to be embarrassed. “Look… I guess you can call Nurse and I’ll get cut a new one for breaking curfew, but I was hoping… It really fuckin’ hurts, Patroclus. I’ll return the favour somehow, just… Please?”

“What happened?” Patroclus asked flatly. Achilles looked somewhat betrayed, but Patroclus cut him off. “I’m not healing you if this is some illegal bullshit. And if someone’s done this to you…” Patroclus retracted the harshness from his voice. “If someone’s done this, you should report the wounds before healing them.”

“No. No, I… I fuckin’ flew, Patroclus.” Through the sweat and pain and panting and blood, Achilles fucking Pelides grinned. “Thought I’d graduate this place still not able to, but I flew tonight.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Patroclus asked, forgetting, for a second, that even in this condition, Achilles could kick his ass from here to next Tuesday.

“Been trying it for weeks. Hector Priamides is strength and speed too – less than me, for the record. But I knew I would manifest flying. Fucking knew it.” Achilles beamed like a child and Patroclus groaned. Even now, he was impossibly charming. Achilles Pelides, a god at Sky High – a classic superhero with strength and speed and now flying of all things – was laid up in Patroclus’s bed. _Dreams really do come true_ , Patroclus thought tiredly, _and when they do, they fucking suck._ “Please,” Achilles said again.

Patroclus sighed. “I dunno how deep into my file you got, but I’m… We’re trying to work on it, but at the moment I’m sub-category ‘Tactile Healer’.”

“Yeah,” Achilles replied, eyebrows knit. “A healer. Christ, man, I think the ribs might be broken.”

“Tactile Healers heal people through touch. That’s why I’m not… if you’ve noticed people not really lining up to get healed by me… Not everyone wants me to cop a feel, you know.”

Achilles frowned, before shaking his head. “Gotta be honest, Patroclus, if you told me your piss could make me better, I’d be laid out in the bath begging for a golden baptism.”

Patroclus couldn’t help it – he laughed. A fortnight before, Ajax had broken his hand in a fight and come to Patroclus to heal it up. Ajax wasn’t a bad guy, but when Patroclus told him he would have to hold his hand to work his magic, and that it might take an hour to heal, Ajax had looked affronted, as if Patroclus had asked for a handy.

“Alright, Pelides.” Patroclus retrieved a pair of scissors and cut through Achilles’s shirt. “Gotta be skin on skin.”

“I would fucking _drink_ the piss. Ribs – broken. Arm – fucked. Whatever it takes.”

“Patroclus – fag,” Patroclus said flatly, removing his own shirt. “Or so they say. Don’t wanna catch you unawares.”

“So are you asking me to ignore your boner or what?”

Patroclus felt himself smile. “No. Here’s how it goes – what you want healed has to be pressed against my skin. It’s not instant – probably a couple of hours. You initiate and dictate contact – people freak out if they feel like I’m latched on –”

“You just wanna be the little spoon,” Achilles quipped, shuffling over to make room for Patroclus in bed. Patroclus positioned himself beside Achilles, and waited for Achilles to hold him. It was so like a lover. Patroclus hated that. Patroclus had imagined doing nasty things with Achilles Pelides, and now Achilles was spooning him, and it meant nothing. “I can feel it working. An energy or something,” Achilles murmured into his ear.

“Thanks,” Patroclus drawled.

“That a spare bed?” Achilles asked conversationally.

“Yeah – no roommate.”

“How’d you swing that?” Achilles asked. “I’m in with Ajax. The guy snores like fucking monster truck. Recommended you, though.”

“If you read my file, you know why they don’t trust me with another kid.”

There was silence a moment, then Achilles spoke gently. “Insane. You make one mistake… guys around here – there are definitely a few future super villains among our classmates. Or at least… super drug dealers and enforcers. You presented as a healer the same fucking year it happened. Agamemnon has a roomie, but Florence Nightingale doesn’t?”

“Maybe I’m lucky,” Patroclus mumbled. “Dug pretty deep into my file.”

“I’m sorry.”

The apology sat untouched for a few seconds. “Guess it pays to know who can do what,” Patroclus allowed.

“Also pays to check out the other ‘fags’. Don’t,” Achilles said hastily, “act surprised.” Achilles squirmed a little. “Your touchy-feely healing doesn’t come with a whole lotta pain relief.”

“Hang on.” Patroclus closed his eyes and focused. Aside from trying to achieve non-tactile healing, his instructors had pushed him to learn to relieve pain. In the last few months, Patroclus had picked it up. Patroclus felt an ache in his body and a breath of pleasure on his back to know it was working.

“Holding out on me,” Achilles said into the sensitive skin of his neck.

“I absorb the pain into my body,” Patroclus muttered.

“Well shit. Hurt?”

“Not too bad.”

“Nah, stop it. Doesn’t feel right you taking the pain, and not even getting to fly.” Patroclus continued relieving the pain just the same, and felt Achilles release a breath onto his neck. “Thank you.” A strong hand cradled Patroclus’s waist and sent a shudder down his spine. “Patroclus, I gotta know something.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been staring at you for three years. Are you just pretending not to see to spare me the embarrassment?”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Patroclus said.

“Right. And this… tonight. You’ll just chalk it up to me needing a healer?”

“You need a healer,” Patroclus said.

“Briseis does it in one touch. No, she wouldn’t’ve appreciated the wakeup call, but she takes cash. Am I not your type?”

It amused Patroclus to imagine that Achilles Pelides might not be someone’s type. “They won’t let me have a roommate. One time I couldn’t be bothered stripping the bed, so I slept in the spare awhile and handed both sets to the laundry at once. Headmaster called me in, paranoid someone had been allowed near me unsupervised.” Patroclus shrugged. “Sometimes I think it’d be best if they did some weird fairy-tale shit and put me to sleep and whoever needed to touch me could touch me, and that’d be that.”

During Patroclus’s darkest days, he imagined he might only pretend to sleep, but that he would be awake and able to enjoy the touches – people would press their bodies against him, and no one would be afraid.

“That’s fucked,” Achilles muttered.

“I know.”

“All of it. What you did –”

“Read a good fucking chunk of the file,” Patroclus bit, the familiar rush of shame pumping through his body that came at the mere hint of his past.

“Read every fucking word of your file. Read you killed that kid by accident – a fucking push and a rock. Read you spend your weekends in hospitals touching people up for free. Read you once got busted half-dressed in Hector Priamides’s room.” The hand on Patroclus’s waist glided up to Patroclus’s chest, Achilles’s thumb swiping over his nipple. “File note – ‘Patroclus alleges he was healing a training accident on behalf of Priamides, but there are suspicions of frat’.”

Hector – second only to Achilles in ability – had come to Patroclus for help. There was some fighting tournament coming up, and Hector had a few muscle aches he wanted gone before he hopped in the ring. It was rare enough that anyone wanted Patroclus’s help that Patroclus had been chuffed. _Got a split lip too_ , Hector had murmured. _Any contact against you will heal it?_ Patroclus had felt butterflies in his stomach – the thought of Hector’s lips pressed against his skin made his heart race. Or a kiss… But Hector had proceeded to trail down his body and suck his cock.

“You and Hector, then?” Achilles asked.

“Aren’t going steady, if that’s what you’re asking. Doesn’t matter. Any changes, I’m sure you can read about it in my file.”

“He can’t offer you anything I can’t.” Achilles’s grip on him relaxed a little. “Do you want me to stop talking? Just occurred that… shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“’s alright.”

“He can’t offer you anything I can’t,” Achilles said again, his voice firm. “Patroclus. I’m stronger than him, and faster than him, and I can fucking fly now. I’m gay – actually, properly. Hector’s been eying off Andromache for years. I watch you and think about you, and we graduate in two months, and I just… y’know. Thought you should have the chance to turn me down in a formal setting – half-naked with me bleeding on you whilst sporting a hard-on; as God intended.”

“It’s a natural biological reaction to –”

“ – to imagining being fucked by the guy you’re spooning. Yeah, it’s a natural fucking reaction.” Patroclus became aware of Achilles’s heartbeat on his back, and the sheen of sweat between them, and the hard cock against the curve of his ass. “Thought I should shoot my shot before it’s too late. Picnics, making out behind the gym, me sneaking into your room. Then we graduate, and we can have a lair.”

“Lairs are for villains.”

“Batman has a lair.”

“Batman also dresses in black and lives in Gotham. Pretty sure everything’s a ‘lair’ in Gotham.”

“I look good in black,” Achilles mused.

“How high was the fall?” Patroclus asked.

“I jumped off the roof. I had it fine twice before, but I guess my flying muscles aren’t used to it yet. You reckon I’m concussed?”

“That, or insane.”

“Maybe.” Achilles adjusted his position so his face pressed into Patroclus. “Just in case you’re right.”

Patroclus didn’t know how to explain it to Achilles. Yes, of course he wanted Achilles. They called him Golden Boy, for god’s sake; the looks, the charm, the money – no one in their right mind would say no to Achilles. Achilles’s dad owned Sky High (literally), and Achilles owned it (figuratively) and Patroclus was nothing. In a jumble of students who could fly, turn in visible, control plants, use laser eyes… Patroclus had the power of fucking Tactile Healing in a world where no one wanted to be touched by the killer poof. Patroclus had hardly belonged at Sky High, but at least it had four walls and running water. Come graduation, Patroclus would be out on his ass.

“People will be busting down your lair door to be with you.”

“Is that you turning me down?”

“I think you should think about this more. Think about your other prospects. I can do what I did with Hector with you, if you’d like – that doesn’t take a lot of thought.”

“‘Baby, I’m no good for you’,” Achilles drawled.

“I’m not even fucking top twenty.”

“Mmm. You’re real fucked up, y’know. Fucking tragic.” Achilles’s hand snaked around Patroclus’s front and settled on his now hard cock. “I was almost embarrassed, you know. Glad the feeling’s mutual.”

“It’s a natural –”

“Yeah, yeah. Look – what about we do this backwards? Because you’re fucked up, and I’m insane. I’ve already snuck into your room. In the morning, when I’ve healed up, a blowjob is gonna happen.”

“And you know that for sure?”

“One of us will crack, yeah. Probably me. Very likely me. Maybe we’ll make out sometimes in secluded areas. Then, one day, your gorgeous fucked up self might let me take you on a date?”

“Why?” Patroclus asked in a small voice. “Why me? Why now? This feels like a joke, Pelides.”

Patroclus felt Achilles deflate a little, the bravado slipping away. “Two months and I’ll be swept away doing God knows what, and I won’t have another chance. And why? Forget the fucking file – you stayed in my house the summer before we started at Sky High, and Dad wouldn’t let me near you. I knew you did something really bad, and I wasn’t meant to talk to you, but you were so… good. I would watch you. Dad was… he wasn’t understanding, but in the evenings, you kneeled in front of him and healed his achy, retired superhero joints – pressed your little hands to his knees and shoulders. I tried skinning my knees, once. Thought maybe he’d get you to heal me, but he just gave me a band-aid. I should’ve done more, though. I should have disobeyed my father and made the summer less lonely for you. I’m sorry.” Achilles pressed his body closer to Patroclus’s. “I’m sorry it took me so long. I think I was always waiting to fall out of the sky. Felt like the only way I could get close to you.” Achilles’s chest rumbled with laughter against Patroclus’s back. “You were my first thought when I felt myself crunch on the ground.”

“My healing is slow and I’m poor pain relief. When I pushed that boy, I cradled his skull against my body and I couldn’t heal him faster than he could die. You should’ve gone to Briseis,” Patroclus said robotically.

“I don’t wanna blow Briseis.” Then, “Am I like, fucking this up in slow motion? It’s hard to tell – I can’t see your face.”

“I used to watch you too. I still watch you.” There were a million reasons Achilles Pelides was a terrible idea. Achilles Pelides could hurt Patroclus. “Blowjobs tomorrow?”

“Don’t even have to kiss me.”

“That’s generous.”

“I’m a fucking angel.”

The morning might be easy – Patroclus could suck cock. But this was going to be impossible – soul crushing, terrifying. Achilles Pelides would one day kiss him awake, look him in the eye, and throw him back. The sensible choice would be to shut it down.

“Did it hurt?” Patroclus asked softly.

“I – what?”

“When you fell from heaven?”

The world shook as Achilles laughed against his back ( _Aw, fuck, my ribs are not thanking you_ ), and Patroclus felt himself relax a little. As his eyelids grew heavy and sleep dragged him into unconsciousness, he wondered if this was how it felt to be healed by touch.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments make my whole damn day.
> 
> EDIT: There is now a new addition to the bizarre choice of AU. Check it out ;)


End file.
